So there was a phase at university where Id walk around in a khakhi/military(ish) jacket, with a free Palestine keffiyah. I stopped this when someone joked that I was a brother from the FSA. It made me happy but mostly sad at the same time lol.

Another phase of mine during uni saw me sticking free Palestine posters around campus late in the evenings and leaving around anti Zionist leaflets/papers. This was meant to be done anonymously but everyone knew it was me.

And then other times Id write controversial articles for the uni paper and feared a backlash from this openly Zionist guy and his crew, but instead one-time, he went to twitter and insulted poor @zakia-s for making an innocent pro Palestine comment. Ironically, he was fairly nice to my niqaabi friend who gave him cold stares in lectures.

The funny part in all of this, is that this kind of behaviour was encouraged at my uni because we are meant to leave as critical thinkers and debate in the ‘liberal arts’. SubhanAllah, these stories and memories make me laugh. Though these were really small and petty actions, they made me feel as if I were doing something for my bros and sisters (aside from donating, making duaa etc). I pray Allah swt makes it easy for us to continue defending the honour of our oppressed brothers and sisters and help them in meaningful and affective ways, ameen thumma ameen. Please always keep this ummah in your duaa’s folks, In sha Allah.

I dont know how many muslimahs have been affected with Anorexia or eating disorders. To be frank, such topics are swept under the carpet in many Muslim communities and refused to be acknowledged. This makes it just as hard for girls to come out with the illness or acknowledge it and seek help, SubhanAllah.

Whilst it is more than fair to say I can thrust my efforts into other areas to benefit the Ummah, (which I do try to do people, dont get me wrong), I have seen far too many muslim girls battle with such things which can be easily eliminated by a strong deen, guidance and support from the right people.

If any of you ladies can point me in the direction of any organisations out there working on this issue within the muslim community, please message me. Also, if any of my ukthis who follow me on tumblr have ever dealt with or are dealing with issues regarding self image, weight, confidence, eating disorders etc, please dont hesitate to message me.

We cant pick our families and we cant force them to keep their cruelty at bay. However some things we do have control over; we can remain silent and seek solace else where. For ladies, we cant always stand in salah and make sujood (heartbreaking and EXTREMELY depressing)! But Alhamdulillah, Allah swt has provided so many blessings in disguise.

Alhamdulillah, amongst all the fitna Ive had to ignore over the past few days, little beams of noor have helped me immensely. My little niqaabi aunty sat quietly in the corner with her daughter Fatimah, my bros offering me tissues and comforting the new sister they’ve had to adjust to (her random emotional outbursts amd all), and my little Welsh Gem supporting me via watsapp.

Whilst it is easy to focus on the bad, the harsh tounges of others and their intentional or unintentional cruelty, the good must never be ignored. If we lived in a world that focused soley on the bad then people would eventually stop doing good. As opposed to thrusting our emotions in retaliating to the bad, we ought to celebrate and encourage the good.

For all the Fabulous people, who sacrifice a little time to console others, I pray Allah swt blesses you in abundance with long, happy and fufilled lives both in this dunya and in the hearafter.

To all those who make other people cry for no reason, youre really lame and ima make dua for you! *snaps finger in z formulation* !

Nothing more exciting than looking for loved ones at an airport or train station. It was like playing a mini wheres wally game with my niqaabi aunty and baby girls. This aunty is legit one of my only role model in my family. Alhamdulillah.

In sha Allah, someday when I wear niqaab she will be the one who will help me deal with everyone else :(

SubhanAllah, my cousin is getting ‘engaged’ this weekend and the event/party isnt going to be segregated. My thoughts on `engagements’ are that they immitate the Kuffar and unless you get the actual Nikkah done on the day, youre still haraam for one another. But of course, Im not allowed to voice these opinions or advice others (even if it is politely). Instead I am expected to dress up and mingle with the entire extended family. When it comes to people who arent practicing entirely or ‘practice’ just to keep up pretences within the community, I have very VERY little patience. Often when I dissaprove of certain things or speak up against them (politely of course), things quickly turn sour and I seem controversial and end up hurting my mother who bares the brunt of my inability to sit back passively.

I dread these family gatherings, moreso this time round. I know for sure that my extended family will jump to the conclusion that my naming of myself as Khadijah is purely an attention seeking stunt. And no one will understand why I am more withdrawn than usual and will write it off to some petty jealousy or rivalry or something or another. SubhanAllah, what is life.

Keep me in your duas, this weekend will be extremely difficult for me. May Allah swt grant me wuth sabr.

I know this sounds cheesy and I havent spoke to many of you, but this tumblr ummah, I honestly love immensely for the sake of Allah swt.

Sometimes I just randomly stop and think, these individiduals I interact with so much on this virtual world and learn so much from, I will probably NEVER meet in this dunya. Someday we’ll all get swamped with life, get jobs that exhaust us, get married, have kids..and we’ll stop using tumblr as a creative outlet. And that brief period of our lives in which we were brought together, faceless and bodyless, just a space on a screen filled with words and pictures and the dozen messages that were exchanged, all of that will cease to be. And we’ll be left, if we’re blessed enough, as distant vauge memories of one another.

Though I will never meet you guys, I pray we all remain steadfast on deen and are united in Jannah. Seriously, just imagine how cool that would be, subhanAllah it makes me so happy just thinking of it.

Finaly getting rid of a heap of clothes I probably will never wear again. This is such a bitter sweet moment. But Alhamdulillah, feels good to let go.

So excited to see my kid brother excited about his tajweed. He has a new book and he snuck out of his tutoring sessions to tell me how cool it is.

‘Dids, its all colour coded and has a sick contents page and it says in apostrophes ‘light nasal sound’ and stuff and its so cool, ill show you after ok, k Ive got to go back bye’.

Lol, my brothers make my life when theyre well behaved and excited about Islam, may Allah swt keep them all steadfast on this deen and make them great men of this ummah. Ameen thumma ameen.